"under the rocks are snails and we can fills our pockets
and let them go one by one all day in a brand new place"
I just want someone to pick me up and take me somewhere new!!!
today from 1:00-6:00 was the most boring day of my life
dinner and 24 might fix this I think
Monday, February 16, 2009
the supertonic second chord must be God's favorite
I've got a wound that doesn't heal
Burning out again
Burning out again
I'm not sure which of me is real
I'm alone again
Burning out again
music speaks to me in ways that conversations can't
I wish I knew it better
I looked at these verses today:
"Have mercy on me oh God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions...create in me a clean heart oh God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me out from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from Me."
Pslams 51: 1, 10-11
Knowing that these verses and the whole book were written as songs is one of the most comforting thoughts I have...but I have no clue why. I think God loves music as much as we do.
Burning out again
Burning out again
I'm not sure which of me is real
I'm alone again
Burning out again
music speaks to me in ways that conversations can't
I wish I knew it better
I looked at these verses today:
"Have mercy on me oh God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions...create in me a clean heart oh God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me out from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from Me."
Pslams 51: 1, 10-11
Knowing that these verses and the whole book were written as songs is one of the most comforting thoughts I have...but I have no clue why. I think God loves music as much as we do.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
25 Things
Well, everyone is posting this on facebook, but I don't really want to, so I'll put it one here :]
1) I change everyday---this is both a good thing and a bad thing because it makes me seem like I have no identity/just follow everyone else (not true!!!) But I also tend to like a lot of the same things as my friends, so we just kind of act like clones of each other, which is fine by us, but other people probably find that creepy.
2) There is nothing I love more than a good adventure. Running around stores, parks, my house, etc. doing the wierdest and most fun things ever with my friends. That it my ideal day...just frolicking wherever I go and having a good time.
3) I have no clue beyond english/french what I want to do in life. I think I want to go to Liberty University, but lots of people are bashing me for it b/c lots of kids form my church end up there...but what can I say! It's the biggest evangelical christian university in the country...there are bound to be some people I know at it!!!
4) There is nothing I want more right now than to travel...everywhere! Last summer I went to Nairobi Kenya on a missions trip with 6 other students in my youth group, and it was the most amazing experience of my life. This summer I am prayerfully considering a trip to Ireland, and there are so many more places I want to go. I would aboslutely love to travel to India, Nepal, France, Brazil, Morocco, Egypt, and Sudan, as well as Japan. I just love traveling so much, and being able to share the good news of Christ along the way is a superb bonus.
5) I love music. I have played viola for 8 years, and I love singing too. I am always listening to music, my favorite bands are relientK, switchfoot, jack johnson, jon foreman, the strokes, the shins, david crowder band, red hot chili peppers, and sanctus real
6) My favorite color is purple
7) I am trying this new thing where I do not "love" food anymore. Food is just for survival, it is not a recreational activity, and I should definitely be thinking more about activity than eating. so yeah
8) My favorite tv shows in the whole entire world are 24, The Office, and 30 Rock. I pretty much do not watch anything else except the occasional episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 when I'm over someone's house who has cable.
9) I love to read so much! But just real books, I HATE TWILIGHT. It is a sorry excuse for a book, with zero intellectual content. If you think you read because you like Twilight, you are sadly mistaken my friend! Some of my favorites are East of Eden, A Great and Terrible Beauty, and Till We Have Faces.
10) I work at a bakery...yeah
11) I love to people watch and make up stories about people who I'm watching...it's not as creepy as it sounds
12) I love flip flops... I wear them from March until November, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
13) I hate facebook, I hate feeling like I need to check it to talk to friends...why can't we just call each other!?!? but I'd be hard pressed to quit!
14) I'm scared to have children. I know that I would be too selfish to play with them, and I would always be like "Mommy needs her alone time" and stuff like that. But I really want a child to call me Mom
15)If I could pick any decade to live in, it would be the 1920's. Everyone had fun, danced at parties, and had a good time before the Depression. The dresses were shorter, the parties were better. End of story
16) I straighten my hair every day. When it's not, I get really selfconcious
17) I hate the thought of graduating and never seein certain people again...I wanna be best friends forever with all of my best friends!
18) I can't wait to drive, but I will be a serious spastic behind the wheel...shhh don't tell my parents
19) I love quoting from movies and having other people understand me
20) I'm scared to buy a house, because I know it won't look like the Better Homes and Gardens magazines I grew up looking at
21) Speaking French makes me feel like part of an exclusive club
22) I absolutely cannot wait to get my nose pierced!!! Nothing creepy, just a tiny little diamond stud....very classy!
23) I want to be the coolest old person ever! If I end up creepy, ugly, or grumpy, then I'll feel like my life is over. I want to be amusing, well traveled, and classy...not obnoxious!
24) What if someone I knew was in the witness protection program and I never knew! Obviously I would never know, they wouldn't say anything! What if my parents, or my best friends were? I THINK ABOUT THAT ALL THE TIME!
25) I paint my nails all the time...I love having a new color and I hate when they get chipped!
1) I change everyday---this is both a good thing and a bad thing because it makes me seem like I have no identity/just follow everyone else (not true!!!) But I also tend to like a lot of the same things as my friends, so we just kind of act like clones of each other, which is fine by us, but other people probably find that creepy.
2) There is nothing I love more than a good adventure. Running around stores, parks, my house, etc. doing the wierdest and most fun things ever with my friends. That it my ideal day...just frolicking wherever I go and having a good time.
3) I have no clue beyond english/french what I want to do in life. I think I want to go to Liberty University, but lots of people are bashing me for it b/c lots of kids form my church end up there...but what can I say! It's the biggest evangelical christian university in the country...there are bound to be some people I know at it!!!
4) There is nothing I want more right now than to travel...everywhere! Last summer I went to Nairobi Kenya on a missions trip with 6 other students in my youth group, and it was the most amazing experience of my life. This summer I am prayerfully considering a trip to Ireland, and there are so many more places I want to go. I would aboslutely love to travel to India, Nepal, France, Brazil, Morocco, Egypt, and Sudan, as well as Japan. I just love traveling so much, and being able to share the good news of Christ along the way is a superb bonus.
5) I love music. I have played viola for 8 years, and I love singing too. I am always listening to music, my favorite bands are relientK, switchfoot, jack johnson, jon foreman, the strokes, the shins, david crowder band, red hot chili peppers, and sanctus real
6) My favorite color is purple
7) I am trying this new thing where I do not "love" food anymore. Food is just for survival, it is not a recreational activity, and I should definitely be thinking more about activity than eating. so yeah
8) My favorite tv shows in the whole entire world are 24, The Office, and 30 Rock. I pretty much do not watch anything else except the occasional episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 when I'm over someone's house who has cable.
9) I love to read so much! But just real books, I HATE TWILIGHT. It is a sorry excuse for a book, with zero intellectual content. If you think you read because you like Twilight, you are sadly mistaken my friend! Some of my favorites are East of Eden, A Great and Terrible Beauty, and Till We Have Faces.
10) I work at a bakery...yeah
11) I love to people watch and make up stories about people who I'm watching...it's not as creepy as it sounds
12) I love flip flops... I wear them from March until November, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
13) I hate facebook, I hate feeling like I need to check it to talk to friends...why can't we just call each other!?!? but I'd be hard pressed to quit!
14) I'm scared to have children. I know that I would be too selfish to play with them, and I would always be like "Mommy needs her alone time" and stuff like that. But I really want a child to call me Mom
15)If I could pick any decade to live in, it would be the 1920's. Everyone had fun, danced at parties, and had a good time before the Depression. The dresses were shorter, the parties were better. End of story
16) I straighten my hair every day. When it's not, I get really selfconcious
17) I hate the thought of graduating and never seein certain people again...I wanna be best friends forever with all of my best friends!
18) I can't wait to drive, but I will be a serious spastic behind the wheel...shhh don't tell my parents
19) I love quoting from movies and having other people understand me
20) I'm scared to buy a house, because I know it won't look like the Better Homes and Gardens magazines I grew up looking at
21) Speaking French makes me feel like part of an exclusive club
22) I absolutely cannot wait to get my nose pierced!!! Nothing creepy, just a tiny little diamond stud....very classy!
23) I want to be the coolest old person ever! If I end up creepy, ugly, or grumpy, then I'll feel like my life is over. I want to be amusing, well traveled, and classy...not obnoxious!
24) What if someone I knew was in the witness protection program and I never knew! Obviously I would never know, they wouldn't say anything! What if my parents, or my best friends were? I THINK ABOUT THAT ALL THE TIME!
25) I paint my nails all the time...I love having a new color and I hate when they get chipped!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
perfection
Remember that old childhood game with the little pieces on the board that you push down with the timer and you had to get them all in before the timer ended and the board popped and messed up all your work and it was SO STRESSFUL?!?!?!
I sure do! Well, my life right now feels like that game. With new classes, tons of homework, stuff at youth group, the church musical, work and trying to find another job, plus learning to drive, picking out colleges, and trying to decide if I'm going to Ireland on a missions trip this summer. I'm just trying to fit all the pieces into their specific holes before it pops and everything gets ruined.
So talking about Ireland is a little more relaxing, because I don't know all the details yet and I'm just praying about it.
So here's the gist:
I'd be going to a town about 5 minutes from Dublin, Ireland for two weeks to work with a group called Ireland Outreach Organization. Their whole purpose is to spread the word about Jesus Christ's works-free salvation to the mainly Roman Catholic population, taking adavantage of the national law that religion of all forms is to be taught in public schools. I would be going with my "aunt beth and uncle dan" (really good friends of my parents) and their three kids (daniel 7, matthew 5, lizzy 3). The opportunity for me to travel again (I still miss Nairobi, Kenya every day) would be fabulous, especially because the youth group missions trip this year will probably be local at best.
So I don't know what the plan is yet, but if it is God's will for me to travel to Dublin, Ireland this summer, I will gladly follow :]
I sure do! Well, my life right now feels like that game. With new classes, tons of homework, stuff at youth group, the church musical, work and trying to find another job, plus learning to drive, picking out colleges, and trying to decide if I'm going to Ireland on a missions trip this summer. I'm just trying to fit all the pieces into their specific holes before it pops and everything gets ruined.
So talking about Ireland is a little more relaxing, because I don't know all the details yet and I'm just praying about it.
So here's the gist:
I'd be going to a town about 5 minutes from Dublin, Ireland for two weeks to work with a group called Ireland Outreach Organization. Their whole purpose is to spread the word about Jesus Christ's works-free salvation to the mainly Roman Catholic population, taking adavantage of the national law that religion of all forms is to be taught in public schools. I would be going with my "aunt beth and uncle dan" (really good friends of my parents) and their three kids (daniel 7, matthew 5, lizzy 3). The opportunity for me to travel again (I still miss Nairobi, Kenya every day) would be fabulous, especially because the youth group missions trip this year will probably be local at best.
So I don't know what the plan is yet, but if it is God's will for me to travel to Dublin, Ireland this summer, I will gladly follow :]
Friday, February 6, 2009
Post Secrets?
I bring you stuff from work just to hear you say
"You're The BEST!"
But I'm scared that you'll never like me for me
"You're The BEST!"
But I'm scared that you'll never like me for me
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
poetry and drama
We read this poem in my Brit Lit class last semester, and I had to put it on, I Love it SO MUCH!
Not Waving But Drowning by: Stevie Smith 1957
Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was so much farther out than you thought
and not waving but drowning.
Poor chap, he always loved larking
and now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way
They said.
Oh no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
and not waving but drowning.
-----
How frightening to think about overlooking the signs of depression and suicidal behaviors in my own friends! I hope it never happens, and if you know a friend who might be trying to signal for help---don't ignore or think you can't help.
Ok---that was my big thought for the day, I started French yesterday, and although I knew I missed it, I had no clue how much. French is my absolute favorite part of school, I love learning the language, the grammar, and how to say things in another language. I think I would be so blessed if God allowed me to use French in a career or to serve him. I think missions work in French-speaking Africa, or even working for the United Nations or a missions agency as a translator would be fabulous. I hope that I can use the opportunity to learn efficiently and well in this class to help build a foundation for a future job.
Another goal I have stems from the winter retreat I just went on last weekend with my youth group, and the importance of committing every aspect of my life to Christ, and learning to let go of the sin that separates me from him. I just want everyone around me to know that Christ is number one in my life, and I need to find ways to make sure that happens. Whether it's through orchestra, work, volunteering, classes in general, and even how I handle my friendships.
Well, that was a lot more than I really wanted to write...so later I guess
Not Waving But Drowning by: Stevie Smith 1957
Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was so much farther out than you thought
and not waving but drowning.
Poor chap, he always loved larking
and now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way
They said.
Oh no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
and not waving but drowning.
-----
How frightening to think about overlooking the signs of depression and suicidal behaviors in my own friends! I hope it never happens, and if you know a friend who might be trying to signal for help---don't ignore or think you can't help.
Ok---that was my big thought for the day, I started French yesterday, and although I knew I missed it, I had no clue how much. French is my absolute favorite part of school, I love learning the language, the grammar, and how to say things in another language. I think I would be so blessed if God allowed me to use French in a career or to serve him. I think missions work in French-speaking Africa, or even working for the United Nations or a missions agency as a translator would be fabulous. I hope that I can use the opportunity to learn efficiently and well in this class to help build a foundation for a future job.
Another goal I have stems from the winter retreat I just went on last weekend with my youth group, and the importance of committing every aspect of my life to Christ, and learning to let go of the sin that separates me from him. I just want everyone around me to know that Christ is number one in my life, and I need to find ways to make sure that happens. Whether it's through orchestra, work, volunteering, classes in general, and even how I handle my friendships.
Well, that was a lot more than I really wanted to write...so later I guess
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